HBO has released another trailer for the upcoming season of Game of Thrones, and upon close examination of the 90 seconds of footage I think I can definitively say that I am going to die before the season premiere. That’s all I could think while I was watching it: I am going to die. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to wait until March 31 when everyone keeps taunting me like this? That’s almost two full weeks away. I’ll never make it. I’ll explode all over the walls by then.
Think of it like a gauge that measures radiation, or any other potentially dangerous substance. The first trailer and dragon silhouette poster had the needle in the orange. The fan-made 90s opening credits and Princess Bride mash-up videos sent it firmly into the red. Now, with the release of this trailer, steam is shooting out of my ears and all sorts of alarms and buzzers are going off. I’m basically one more trailer or a music video of footage set to a DMX song away from total meltdown. Seek shelter immediately.