Hold The Phone! O.J. Simpson Witness Says ‘Game Of Thrones’ Scene Was Totally Unrealistic

(Spoilers for this past Sunday’s episode of Game of Thronoes head)

All the accolades all of you have been paying to Sunday night’s Red Wedding episode are MOOT now. Take them all back. One of the greatest scenes in television history was a FRAUD. “No!” you say. “This can’t be true!” But it is, at least according to Dr. Michael Baden. He was a witness in the O.J. Simpson trial, so he obviously knows what he’s talking about, and according to Baden, when Catelyn’s jugular was sliced, the blood shouldn’t have gushed out like that. IT’S ALL WRONG, per the most credible source on the Internet, TMZ.

“Just by chance I walked in during the scene when everyone was being killed,” Baden tells us … explaining, “Blood doesn’t come out like that.”

“If cut deep enough, the right and left carotid artery will spurt a few feet, just like a hose …. not this broad blood-flowing out like a waterfall from the whole neck.”

He adds, “There would have been squirting from the right or left carotid artery, carotid arteries spurt.”

Baden also says … the victims wouldn’t have died so quickly … because death from a throat slashing, “takes much longer than that.”

WE’VE BEEN HOODWINKED. The whole scene was a sham! Where was the “spurting”? All we got was some lousy cascading. WE DESERVE SPURTS. This is bullsh*t, George R.R. Martin. Your fantasy series with dragons and devil ladies who birth smoke monsters and White Walkers who shatter when you stab them in the back with a certain knife is UNREALISTIC. Why wasn’t this vetted? Why wasn’t an expert consulted? When these people died, it should’ve taken minutes for them to bleed out, and we were deprived of that realism all because some nerdy Santa-Claus motherf****er dared to entertain us.

Cancel your HBO subscriptions. Write your Congressman. Demand refunds! WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?