This week’s finale of House of the Dragon ends much the same way it’s second season began, with both sides preparing for war but neither ready to fight in one. And sure, we thought we’d see more battles (on the ground and in the sky) by now, that a few more Targaryens might die and at least one city might be sacked, but the lack of forward momentum when it comes to armies and armadas, blockades and dragons doesn’t extend to the characters on this show.
If season two (and its finale) proved anything, it’s that the interpersonal drama and political alliances are what’s fueling the action on this show. That’s why this episode’s most impactful scene materialized as a quiet moment between two queens willing to make sacrifices in the name of peace and maybe their friendship. It’s why a character’s redemption arc was cemented with a story, not a sword. And it’s why both nothing, and everything, happened, setting up a season three that promises to move more swiftly to its inevitably bloody end.
In the meantime, here’s where everyone stands on the HoTD leaderboard after the show’s season two finale.
Rhaenyra Targaryen
House of the Dragon is doing some truly interesting things when it comes to Westeros’ true heir. Rhaenyra began this season broken by grief, craving revenge and then shrinking from the bloody fallout of its execution. Her political instincts where muffled, her war strategy nonexistent, and her belief in her own ability to rule seriously cast into doubt. It’s amazing what a season-long break from your over-bearing, war-mongering spouse and a situationship with real baddie can do for one’s self esteem.
Sure, the show’s season finale proved Rhaenyra’s still got some things to figure out – there’s the whole chopping off her brother’s head thing, the uneasy alliance with her biggest frenemy, the atrocious table manners of her extended family members, and the delicate negotiation of a potential throuple with her uncle-husband and his former mistress – but she’s got the firepower now to do it. Unlike Alicent, Rhaenyra has found a way to upend the patriarchal systems put in place to hinder her pursuit of power by aligning herself with those who’ve also suffered under its rule. She’s eschewed tradition and evolved past inherited biases to challenge an archaic hierarchy, to create a space for herself instead of letting others dictate her role for her. In other words, the DNA tests are in. Rhaenyra Targaryen really is 100% that b*tch.
Daemon Targaryen
We’re as surprised as you are that, after weeks of wandering the haunted courtyards of Harrenhal, barking at the moon, and dream-f*cking his mother, Daemon has risen this high in the House of the Dragon power rankings. But the silver-haired scoundrel really came through this episode, first scoffing at the suggestion he should be king by one of Rhaenyra’s turn cloak advisors, then bending the knee to his estranged wife in front of a host of Riverlords whose respect he’s barely even earned himself.
It helped that Alys was there to guide him on the path fate had already determined, forcing him to fondle a bleeding weirwood tree in order to finally realize the futility of his own existence. (Sidenote: The phrase “go touch grass” is now out. When a man is getting too opinionated, we now say, “go grope a weirwood.”) Daemon not only saw his own watery grave, but the destruction of his house, the threat of the White Walkers, and a glimpse of the Prince Who Was Promised – Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother of Dragons. That kind of prophetic epiphany will straighten a treasonous adulterer out real quick. But, the most important development in Daemon’s redemption arc is that his poor dragon is getting treated to pork and a one-way ticket out of this hell hole. Praise be, Caraxes’ long nightmare is finally over.
Alicent Hightower
We’d like to strongly suggest Alicent Hightower add Chappell Roan’s “Femininomenon” to her Spotify playlist and play that joint on repeat during the show’s hiatus because girl, that song is about you. The Dowager Queen’s short wilderness retreat left her refreshed and ready to hand over her sons’ heads on a silver platter in exchange for her freedom and the safety of her favorite child. Or maybe Alicent woke up one day and realized she’s in her mid-30s and she doesn’t have nearly enough stamps on her passport. Sometimes a b*tch just wants to quit her job and travel the world. Who really knows. But Alicent makes some tough choices this episode, ones that are brought on after her son commits mass murder and then recruits Helaena to do the same. Her confession to Rhaenyra was heartbreaking on multiple levels.
It’s clear the two still hold deep love for one another, but the ways in which their paths have diverged have created a chasm no bridge could ever cross. Alicent is just now realizing how the internalized misogyny that’s governed her life has actually destroyed any hope of happiness for herself, or her children. She’s reflecting on all of the harm she’s caused and the reason for it – the jealousy of Rhaenyra, a woman who was sure of her wants in life, the dysfunction of her marriage, the controlling nature of her father, and the way abstract concepts like “duty” and “honor” are thrust upon women like shackles to keep them subservient and silent. It’s all a little too late, of course. War is inevitable and her betrayal will bring shame to her house and all of her children will still die terrible deaths in the end, but that kind of self-actualization takes years of therapy for most people so at least she’s saved a fortune in co-pays.
Larys Strong
Old club foot finally reveals his hand this episode, hobbling to Aegon’s sickbed to tell the disfigured monarch he’s got some gold stashed away in Essos. As long as the burnt slice of Wonder bread can stomach living with some goats, they can avoid the more fiery bits of this civil war, wait out the coming storm, and return to unseat the victor when the time is right. It’s a well enough plan, and Larys is stronger than us to see it through. If it’s between spending a whole season of playing nursemaid to a manchild who constantly pees on himself and burning to death in dragon fire, we’ll take the latter.
Aegon Targaryen
On the one hand, Aegon is ruining his mother’s filicidal vacation plans. On the other, we got to hear him complain about his ugly mug and crippled body and incontinence problem. We were even treated to the very visceral description of his prick exploding like “a sausage on a spit” at one point so, yeah, maybe all those fears of AI taking writers’ jobs are a bit overblown because Google could never.
Helaena Targaryen
One of the best choices made by the showrunners this season is the decision to highlight just how powerful Helaena Targaryen is in this dance of dragons. Her advantage doesn’t lie on dragon back, but in dreams, something the show plays with in the finale by connecting her to Daemon whilst he’s in the middle of a life-altering vision. Helaena has seen this story before, perhaps when she was still a child. She knows Aemond tried to kill their brother, she knows Aegon will escape death again to become king, she knows of the battle at the God’s Eye and the coming winter and the legacy her house will leave behind. But, unlike a character like Bran Stark, her insight is ignored, belittled as the ramblings of a mad woman. Maybe that’s because of her sex, or maybe it’s because her prophecies aren’t packaged in a way the people around her care to figure out, but if anything has been made clear this season, it’s that more people should pay attention to the gentlest Targaryen. Except you, Aemond. You can get a job and stay away from her.
Tyland Lannister
Tyland got his hands dirty this week, both literally and figuratively, rolling around in the mud with the kind of riff-raff he’d probably turn his nose at were he back in King’s Landing. Luckily for him, a tall white guy with a beard and a habit of making a fool of himself amused the pirate lords he was sent to treat with and he ends the season in the most unlikeliest of places – aboard a ship, an armada in tow, and with several women wanting to sleep with him.
Corlys Velaryon
Just as we’re starting to feel sympathy for the Lord of the Tides, wiping our eyes as he reveals the name of his new vessel and gives some worthwhile advice to his former daughter-in-law, Corlys has to go and f*ck things up by reminding us what a piece-of-sh*t father he’s been. It’s bad enough he plays dumb when his queen presses him for information on his bastard son, but Corlys took his behavior to a new level of ick when he offered to help Alyn rise above his station. He’s a grown man who survived on fish guts and seaweed for decades before you took notice of him, my man, your desperation for an heir is really starting to show.
Aemond Targaryen
Aemond Targaryen as a character is a laughable villain, an overgrown toddler throwing a temper tantrum by way of tyranny and scorched earth. But Aemond Targaryen as a hypothetical model, a what if scenario that questions how the world might look if fragile masculinity came equipped with a mythic fire-breathing beast that could lay waste to entire civilizations at the first hint of a hurt feeling is absolutely nightmarish. We hate to generalize here, but maybe no man should be in a possession of a dragon from now on.
Rhaena Targaryen
Starving, freezing, dehydrated, and delirious. We’ll never forgive the HoTD writers for putting Rhaena through all of this just to claim a dragon when all Ulf had to do was step on some eggs and make Silverwing laugh.
Otto Hightower
This week in, “Where In The World Is Otto Hightower?” we visit a dim-lit and dirty prison cell where the former Hand of the King has been stripped of his dignity (and facial hair) and made friends with the rats. Who did this to him? Our money’s on Larys Strong.
Criston Cole
The bad news: We only got one episode of respite before Criston Cole popped up on our screens once more to moan about the cost of war and the nonexistence of honor and how he’s helpless against the wiles of teenage girls. The good news: the show’s former “Character We All Love To Hate” title holder is hella depressed and practically salivating at the thought of that sweet, eternal reprieve. Godspeed to you, ser.
Ulf
That brings us to the show’s newly-crowned “Character We All Love To Hate,” Ulf, a man so unremarkable his mother could only string three letters together in place of a name. Coincidentally, “ulf” is also the sound everyone makes whenever this guy’s face shows up on screen. We know this whole civil war business is really just a number’s game, but couldn’t the Blacks stand to lose just one dragon rider?
‘House of the Dragon’s second season can be streamed on Max.
