I imagine this woman would settle for a ring found at the bottom of a cereal box. (Via BuzzFeed)
The 3 Best DJing Apps Out Now — DJ Roomba approves. (Smoking Section)
Ten Jokes to Make About the Upcoming Hulk Hogan Sex Tape — He pleasured her high noon on his mega mountain. (With Leather)
Valve Is Not Making a Game Console. It’s Making Something Better — It’s making a lobster bisque?!? (Gamma Squad)
Patricia Heaton Makes a Staggering A$s of Herself On Twitter — “The Middle” is a very good, low rated show that could use all help it can get. This won’t help. (Uproxx)
This Week in Posters and Publicity Stills — VAL KILMER RIDING A BIKE. I repeat: VAL KILMER RIDING A BIKE. (Film Drunk)
10 Tantalizing Cloud City Illusions — Lando Calrissian isn’t involved, though he should be. He’d crack open a tall Colt 45 and take a nap on one of those fluffy cotton balls of the sky. (BuzzFeed)
The 9 Funniest Former “Daily Show” Correspondents — It’s a crime Samantha Bee wasn’t chosen. She’s certainly funnier than Mo Rocca. (Huffington Post)
Brazilian Late-Night Shows Are a Far Sight Better Than Their American Counterparts: Exhibit A — But you can’t match the wit of an American YouTube commenter: “i would fu*k her.” (Fark)
Peyton Manning Is a Great Tipper — “Tip her? I don’t even know her!” Eli gets a kick out of that joke every time Peyton tells it. (The FW)
You’re the Vulgarian, You F*ck: Our Favorite Verbal Film Fights — This conversation begins and ends with Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. (Pajiba)
19 Grotesque “Family Guy” Celebrity Caricatures — I remember a time in my life when I thought Randy Newman’s song from “Da Boom” was the funniest thing ever. Dark times. (ScreenJunkies)
