As we all know, cranky dickhead Andy Rooney passed away this weekend. And since my send-off wasn’t exactly the nicest eulogy, I figured this video might be a more fitting tribute. In Season 9 of “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo don bushy fake eyebrows and engage in an “Andy Rooney-Off.” The topic is soup, which seems like the Andy Rooney-est food possible.
You know, now that he’s dead, maybe the best way to remember his is by using his name as an adjective. Something’s Andy Rooney if it’s bland and inoffensive yet somewhat inscrutable for a simpleton. Like magnets — how do they work? OH MY GOD ANDY ROONEY WAS A JUGGALO. I mean, check out the lyrics to “Miracles”: “I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay / It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away.” It’s like an Andy Rooney essay with swearing. Well, except for the part about owning an cell phone.