Donald Trump is a very confident man. He’s led a life of victories, even when declaring bankruptcy. His low moments begat peaks of greatness, and as a dealmaker, Donald Trump has no equal. At least according to Donald Trump. In Iowa, polls had Trump leading in just about every scenario. It was a foregone conclusion that he’d clean up in the first caucus with Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio fighting over his scraps…
But no – Donald Trump lost to Ted Cruz, and the internet had a field day. The man who will not tolerate losers, was indeed a loser. A big. fat. loserrrrrrr.
“No one remembers who came in second.” – Walter Hagen
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 30, 2013
But he wasn’t! Donald Trump, you see, had actually won Iowa, because he came in second place, and he never really spent much money in Iowa since his advisors said he wouldn’t do that well there. So he was the actual winner, not Ted Cruz.
Because I was told I could not do well in Iowa, I spent very little there – a fraction of Cruz & Rubio. Came in a strong second. Great honor
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 2, 2016
Jimmy Fallon, doing his best Trump impression distills all of Trump’s confusing second-place quips and then says what Trump really means, which is second place is first worst, two is better than one, and why R2-D2 will always be better than R1-D1. Who wants to be one? Trump is proud of being number two. In fact, whenever you think of Trump, you should think of a huge number two.
