Martha Stewart Kinda Wishes Her Friends Would Die (‘Not Painfully’) So She Can Steal Their Husbands

Are you a friend of Martha Stewart‘s who’s maybe seen her looking at your husband? You might want to sit down for this. The culinary guru recently stopped by Chelsea Handler‘s podcast where she opened up about trying to get back into dating. Turns out, Stewart has developed a two recent crushes, but there’s just one small problem: One of the men is married to her friend.

Apparently, this is a recurring problem for Stewart, which has led the meticulous lifestyle maven to have some pretty dark thoughts. When Chandler brought up that it’s tempting to hope that maybe the person’s current relationship is just “temporary,” Stewart took things to a whole other level. Via Mediaite:

“Or maybe they’ll die,” Stewart said bluntly. “I always think, oh gosh, couldn’t that person just die.”

“The wife?” Handler asked.

“Yeah! Not — not painfully,” Stewart clarified. “Just die … But it, it hasn’t worked out.”

While Stewart may fantasize about her friends kicking the bucket so she can steal their husbands, one thing she would never do is intentionally ruin a marriage. “I’ve never been a home wrecker,” Stewart said. “I’ve tried really hard not to be. I’ve had the opportunity to be a home wrecker and I have not taken anybody up on it.”

Unfortunately, Stewart’s main source of meeting potential suitors is when they’re already attached. “That’s where I meet men,” she admitted. “They’re all married to friends of mine or something like that.”

Welcome to every one of Martha’s friends never eating her cooking again. Is her pecan pie really worth risking a trip to the morgue? No, seriously, we’re asking. It’s probably pretty good, right?

(Via Mediaite)