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It’s Natural To Be Jealous Of This Beautiful Table Nick Offerman Crafted For Stephen Colbert

Fans of Nick Offerman are well aware of his prowess when it comes to woodworking, whether it be crafting canoe paddles for his Parks and Recreation costars or solid wood emojis for charity. So it should come as no surprise that during a visit to The Late Show Monday night, Offerman gifted Stephen Colbert with a table made of only the finest wood: California Myrtle, “also known as Bay Laurel,” with Eastern Black Walnut legs; so now guests may have an appropriate place to rest their beverages. (But only if they use a coaster, of course.)

Colbert says that the table is the second best gift he’s ever been given during his time as host, recalling “some smooches from some pretty ladies a couple of weeks ago.”

Offerman and Colbert later compared boats, which is not actually a euphemism for anything, rather that Colbert was so impressed with his guest’s ability to handcraft wooden canoes from scratch that he decided to try building a boat of his own. Unfortunately Colbert’s boat got far more laughs from the audience, but as Offerman points out, “the nice thing about a boat is that we can paddle away from all of these sons of bitches.”

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