No, Charlie Sheen Does *Not* Have a New Show

Today’s non-story occupying space in the news cycle is that Charlie Sheen will star in a new show based on the 2003 film Anger Management. TMZ says:

We’re told Charlie’s character will stray a bit from the movie role. The plan as of now — Charlie’s character will be an ex-jock who got his master’s degree in social work during the offseason. He becomes a counselor to defendants in the criminal justice system with anger management problems. But, of course, Charlie’s character will have anger issues of his own.

We’re told the deal with Lionsgate is not done, but is in the final stages of negotiations. And we’re told, there is no deal with a network to air the show — at least not yet.

To recap, Charlie Sheen’s new TV “show” doesn’t have a deal with a studio, doesn’t have a script, doesn’t have a pilot, and most definitely doesn’t have a network deal — and even if it did have all of those, we wouldn’t see this show until late 2012 at the earliest because upfronts have passed and all the TV schedules are set until next summer. The lesson, as always, is that nothing on TMZ is actually news unless someone’s dead.

Here’s how I feel every time I end up covering a non-story like this: