Scientists Discovered The Perfect Way To Eat A Hamburger. It’s Bullsh*t.

Like a famous man once said, your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should. That applies to dinosaurs theme park, and the alleged best way to eat dead cow. A few months ago, a trio of “experts in fluid mechanics, engineering, and density” went on the Japanese game show Honma Dekka!? to scold the world for eating hamburgers all wrong. They spent four months researching this, feasting on late-night snacks of burgers, gummy burgers, burger-flavored soda, and edible copies of Good Burger on DVD, and here’s what they found:

The resulting data showed that the typical way of holding a burger often found the user inadvertently squeezing the contents out of the buns. Following multiple trials, it was concluded that there was one superior way of avoiding spillage: thumbs and pinkies on the bottom, middle three fingers on the top. (Via)

I tried it, and it felt WRONG, like eating a slice of pizza with a fork and knife instead of folding it, making sure all the delicious grease soaks in the middle. So thanks for nothing, you Japanese eggheads, because if there’s one thing us Americans are pros at, it’s how to hold our meat.

AV Club via Food Beast