It’s been more than six months since MAGA insurrectionists stormed the Capitol on January 6th, and as individuals involved in those riots continue to be apprehended and questioned, while others have their day in court, we’re learning more about exactly what went down. Stephen Colbert shared some of the latest news concerning the matter in a segment he likes to call “Seditionist Round Up Roundup.”
Among those included in Colbert’s roundup was Pauline Bauer, a pizzeria owner—also from Pennsylvania—who reportedly demanded that a police officer “Bring Nancy Pelosi out here now… We want to hang that f*cking bitch.” But Bauer isn’t worried about any legal repercussions. She has opted to represent herself, and offered up a rather surprising defense: that she cannot be held accountable for her actions because she is “a divinely empowered entity immune from laws.” Which led Colbert to wonder: “If you’re chosen by God to be above the laws of government, why do you care who’s in charge of it?”
Even more amazingly, there was Douglas Jensen. “Like a lot of these idiots, he posted a video of himself at the insurrection,” Colbert explained. “Unlike a lot of them, he didn’t know exactly where he was.” In the video, Jensen provides some on-camera narration where he shows himself “touching the f*cking White House!” (It was the Capitol Building.) He went on to repeat, “I am at the White House, just so you know.” (Again, he was not, just so you know.) As for where he is now?
“Today, Jensen was released from federal custody to house arrest because a judge found that he couldn’t have preplanned his actions because ‘he didn’t even know where he was,’” Colbert explained. “That is a new one—pleading not guilty by reason of stupidity.”
You can watch the full clip above.
