This Local News Report About A Beached Whale Contains An Incredible Amount Of Whale Guts

This is a from a report on Fox 5 San Diego about local crews beginning the process of dismembering and removing that 57-foot dead whale that washed up on shore a little while ago. You can watch the report here. It is goddamn unbelievable. And not just because of the thing where a gross smelly beached whale has apparently become a tourist attraction that people are bringing their children to. There’s another reason. Look at this screencap:


But wait, it gets worse. From the report:

Crews began the process Thursday of removing a 57-foot dead fin whale that reappeared on San Diego County’s shoreline after being towed out to sea.

Crews used heavy machinery to tear into the whale’s body. It’s not a pretty sight — but it’s an exciting opportunity for scientists.

Well they definitely wouldn’t show footage of the heavy machinery ripping through the whale carcass, right?

Jesus. Well, look, I suppose it has scientific value of some sort to see how they’re disposing of this beached whale, even if it is a little gross. It’s not like they’re just blatantly throwing discarded whale innards into the background of interviews or anythi-…

“Okay, so I’m gonna need you to over here for your interview. No, a little to the right … a little more … little more … perfect. Gotta make sure the sun hits those whale guts just right.”

Amazing. And disgusting. But mostly amazing. And I haven’t even mentioned the part where they talk about the horrifying smell, or the guy who poo-poos it by telling the news — THE NEWS — that he grew up on a farm and dead pigs smell worse than dead whales. Good to know!

Anyway, the whole thing reminded me of one of my favorite news stories ever. No, not the famous one about the town that tried to blow up a beached whale and ended up raining whale parts on everyone. The other one. This one:

Residents of Tainan learned a lesson in whale biology after the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale exploded on a busy street, showering nearby cars and shops with blood and organs and stopping traffic for hours.

The 56-foot-long whale had been on a truck headed for a necropsy by researchers, when gases from internal decay caused its entrails to explode in the southern city of Tainan.

Residents and shop owners wore masks while trying to clean up the spilt blood and entrails. [NBC News]

That’s why they’re taking this whale apart at the beach. Because it could blow at any moment. Science!