Jimmy Fallon tried out a new game called Three-Word Stories tonight alongside Benedict Cumberbatch and it failed miserably. It made for pretty entertaining TV, but the actual game failed. I throw all the blame on Cumberbatch because of his flimsy knowledge of the booty, something I guess they don’t have in England despite the presence of Pipa Middleton, Lucy Pinder, and Kelly Brook.
We threw away the King-a-England here in the colonies, all so we could easily talk about things like ‘booty’ without having the slimy grip of King George pull us back into some conservative, nanny hellscape. It was all freedom, 24/7 here for us and we we’re ready to make it rain on all the booty we could find, as long as that booty was white, male, and owned land. That makes no sense now, but our the Founding Fathers must’ve been right.
Now we live in a world where late night hosts can play games on advertising dollars and make highly acclaimed actors and actresses dress up in goofy helmets and almost make scat jokes on national TV. A place where I can write nonsensical blabber while also looking up Lucy Pinder on Google. America. Dammit, I love it so.
(Via The Tonight Show)