Weekend Preview: White People Problems

Mildred Pierce (HBO, Sunday) — Miniseries premiere. This looks so unbearably white and melodramatic that I’m surprised it’s not set in England. The first two of five parts air Sunday, but you can skip this week because Evan Rachel Wood and her merkin apparently don’t show up until the final two episodes. If you’re interested, you can read Alan Sepinwall’s review here.

Shameless (Showtime, Sunday) — Season finale. I have a yet to hear a single bad opinion of this show — it’s supposed to be great, from the acting to the writing to Emmy Rossum’s boobs. I’ll try to get caught up. Followed by: Season 4 finale of Californication.

Shark Tank (ABC, Friday) — Season premiere. Mark Cuban and Jeff Foxworthy join the panel this season. “You might be a millionaire if you can find a memorable way to tell the same joke 800,000 times.”

Amazing Wedding Cakes (WEtv, Sunday) — Season premiere. If you think about it, this is basically “Entourage” for women.

No Ordinary Family (ABC, Saturday) — This clunky, poorly written Incredibles knock-off was a waste of Michael Chiklis and Julie Benz, and now the leads have already signed on to new projects for next fall because cancellation is all but assured — the new Saturday time slot should tip you off to that.

NCAA Basketball (CBS, all weekend) — It’s gonna be tough to do better than Duke losing in the Sweet 16, but there’s still plenty to be excited for. Go, point spread!

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