‘He Wears Underwear During Sex’: Reddit Users Share Their Most George Costanza-Esque Breakup Stories

“It’s not you, it’s me.” Perhaps no character in TV history was as quirky as George Costanza. The man once broke up with a woman because her phone messages were too long. He’s inspired others in the real world too. Check out these responses in a reddit thread titled, “What is the most George Constanza-esque reason you broke up with someone?”

(The underwear sex one is gold, Jerry. Pure gold)

Mustard fetish girl (via callmesnake13)

She was putting mustard on her fries by applying it to her hand first and then rubbing it all over the fries. Then she licked the mustard off her hand. You would never ever think she would do this by looking at her or speaking to her.

The Cookie Monster (via CloudJockey)

I dated this girl who was the loudest eater I ever met. She constantly chewed with her mouth open and smacked her lips. God forbid if she really liked it, then there came a litany of mmms and noms as well. It was like dating the fucking cookie monster.

The 34 day relationship (via shakeyjake)

I was 4 days before my birthday and she said she was going to get me a gift. I knew I couldn’t break up with her for at least 30 days after accepting her gift and I wasn’t willing to make a 34 day commitment to the relationship.

That’s not how you make love (via oOorangemoon)

he didn’t take off his underwear during sex


ha sorry guys didn’t not expect this response.

I never asked why because it was so awkward that I felt like I couldn’t. he would get as far as the ankles or the knees.

once I almost applauded bc he took them off when I gave him head…

then, I realized they were still on.

How is this girl still alive? (via braffination)

She refused to eat anything besides chicken nuggets and french fries. No substitutions. Not chicken tenders. Not chicken strips. If we went somewhere without nuggets and fries she would just order a Coke and watch me eat.

I once made the mistake of cooking dinner for her. She took one bite and asked if I would be offended if she ran to McDonalds to get nugs/fries.

There were a host of other reasons, but that was a big factor.

It’s like making love to your mom (via bobrobertsonson)

She wore the same deodorant as my mother does.

A spoonful of sugar (via viperh)

She put the spoon into the sugar jar after stirring her coffee. Would leave clumps of coffee sugar.

The girl who talked too much (via I_Say_I_Say)

She would constantly say the names of the stores we passed by while driving.

Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree (that’s how she would say it)

Is that a thing? (via thelazerbeast)

She walked like a T. Rex

The girl who sucked at karaoke (via geekstorm)

She would sing along with songs that were playing on the radio, but with a delay of .5 seconds, like she knew the tune, but didn’t know the words until she HEARD them. It got SO annoying, SO quickly. Nope.

A freakin’ parallelogram? (via Unclebergs)

Her mouth made a trapezoid when she talked…

The oral violator
(via AbeLincolnsBallsack)

Every time I yawned she thought it hilarious if she stuck her finger in my open mouth. I could never relax…always had to be prepared for oral violation

Ew, just ew (via LetsBurnThings)

She drank beer from a can through a straw. Not the only reason we broke up, but that was the straw that broke it.