September 11, 2011 will be a day of mourning. Not only will we remember those who lost their lives ten years ago in the attacks on the World Trade Center buildings and those aboard United Airlines flights 77 and 93; we must also come to terms with the fact that there will never be another new episode of “Entourage.”
Here’s what the boys are up to, as of last week’s penultimate episode: Sloan told Eric she’s pregnant with his seed, and that she’s moving to New York and doesn’t want anything from him; Ari is dating a studio executive, but he’s still in love with his ex-wife; Johnny is trying to star in a made-for-TV movie; Turtle is hanging out with A-Rod and becomes a millionaire thanks to Avión; and Vince is in love with Vanity Fair reporter Sophia (Alice Eve), and he asks the guys to make a video compilation of all his old girlfriends telling Sophia how wonderful he is, and presumably lie about how big his dick is.
So really, the message of “Entourage” is: VINCE IS GOD, GOD OF SEX.
That’s an opinion more or less stated in the show’s theme song, “Superhero” by Jane’s Addiction, the only group of people more self-obsessed than Vince & Co. It will be played in the final episode of “Entourage,” just as it has the 95 before it—but what about the all-important final scene, when the gang is inevitably on a hill overlooking Los Angeles? The “Don’t Stop Believin'” scene, as it were. On the next page, I’ve listed five songs that “Entourage” could use (no, thank YOU, Doug Ellin), and please list your choices in the comments section.
9/11/2001=Never Forget, Bro
“Superhero” by Jane’s Addiction
An obvious choice, sure, but another, much better HBO show (“The Wire”) played its theme over the final scene, and god knows Doug Ellin probably thinks his show is on the same level as David Simon’s masterpiece. It would also be kind of funny seeing “Entourage” fans sob singing to, “YOU KNOW I NEED YOU DESPERATELY.”
“Thank You Friends” by Big Star
Please, no. So many things in life already suck, and I don’t want Big Star to become synonymous with “Entourage.” Other friendly choice that I’m imploring the show not to use: “All My Friends” by LCD Soundsystem and “We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful” by Morrissey (how ironic!).
“Redemption Song” by Bob Marley
Even though we have eight seasons of evidence to the contrary, the final season of “Entourage” is meant to be about redemption, about the boys finally acting like men (“Thank You” by Boyz II Men would be a good final song, too) and taking some responsibility for their actions. “Redemption Song” was written by Bob Marley in 1979, when the reggae great knew he was likely to succumb to cancer (which he did two years later), with lines lifted from a speech given by Marcus Garvey, founder of the Universal Negro Improvement Association and African Communities League. I think Turtle had sex with a black woman once, so perfect fit.
“America, We Stand as One” by Daniel Madelone
I did a Google search for “douchiest song,” and this was the top choice. The rights would probably come cheap.
“Renegade” by Jay-Z
Scott Vener is the music supervisor for “Entourage,” and on his Twitter, he recently wrote, “i actually cant wait for u guys 2 c the final song ever sunday…it has to be my favorite use of all time.” Then, “ive wanted to end with this song since season 6,” followed by, “the song is so good its almost cheating haha.” So that means whatever he chose had to come before October 2009, therefore excluding, say, anything from Watch the Throne (wouldn’t have been surprised to have heard “Otis”). But I’m still guessing it’s something from Jay-Z, because Vener LOVES Jay-Z (“Lucifer” played over the end credits of the show’s first episode), and don’t forget that The Blueprint come out on September 11, 2001 (same day as the Glitter soundtrack!). So, let’s go with “Renegade,” with Eminem, because that’s exactly the word I’d use to describe Turtle.