Empire (FOX, 9:00 p.m.) — Cookie the fabulous gets fierce when she tells Lucious about Boo Boo Kitty, aka Fake-Ass Halle Berry, aka Fake-Ass Lena Horne, aka Anika and her meeting with his rival Billy Beretti, as played by Judd Nelson (Suddenly Susan). Also, Andre might need to see somebody for a dosage adjustment.
Conan (TBS, 11:00 p.m.) — We’re not far from a moment where Conan O’Brien will be the most experienced man in late night, which wasn’t a sure bet to happen as he stood over a leg wrestling John Goodman and George Wendt during the premiere of Late Night when he was 13 years old, but here we are. And thankfully we’re here. Who else would take the gamble to go to Cuba for a lo-fi look at the long walled-off island nation, doing a series of remotes that will surely be as informative as they are funny?
ABC’s Wednesday Night Comedies (ABC, 8:00-10:00 p.m.) — Frankie flirts with a teenager on The Middle, Adam and his girlfriend have to care for a doll as part of that school project that I think only exists on television in The Goldbergs, a drone leers at Gloria in another tech-centric episode that puts the “Modern” in Modern Family, and Dre plans a vow renewal ceremony on Black-ish.
Nashville (ABC, 10:00 p.m.) — Rayna reunites with Deacon on-stage at the Grand Ole Opry while Vince Gill and other guest stars look on, Sadie Stone shares her private pain during an interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, and I continue to grow impatient as I wait for Kyle Chandler to join the cavalcade of guest stars as a modern day Colonel Tom Parker with a predilection for big damn belt buckles.
Broadchurch (BBC America, 10:00 p.m.) — David Tennant and Olivia Colman return for eight more episodes of somber British cop-drama and dead-kid remembrances. It’s much better than it sounds, really. Better than Gracepoint, at least.
CSI: Cyber (CBS, 10:00 p.m.) — The 11th CSI TV show debuts, and this time, they’ve got email.
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) — Will needle scaredness stand in the way of a frolic in the fresh cut grass with Dolph Lundgren after a victorious blood drive?
The Americans (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — Sandra helps Stan deal with distressing news and Gabriel has something surprising to reveal. In the old country, his name was Viktor. He worked as a clown in his spare time. Billy Joel wrote “Leningrad” about him.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FXX, 10:00 p.m.) — The gang goes on a game show and Dennis tries to perpetrate a ruse on America by hiding how f*cking weird the gang is. A Richard Dawson hologram does not appear. Dammit.
Suits (USA, 10:00 p.m.) — In the Suits season finale, you’re going to love the way they look.
Broad City (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) — Trey has a pornstar past.
Man Seeking Woman (FXX, 10:30 p.m.) — Josh goes through admission letters in the hopes of getting accepted by a new girlfriend with a four year plan to get him on the right path for the rest of his life. Personally, I don’t get why he doesn’t just apply to one of those online girlfriends. It’s a lot quicker and all you need is a credit card. What?
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Vince Vaughn and Mike Tyson on Kimmel; David Arquette, Steve Wozniak, and the comedy stylings of Josh Robert Thompson (aka Geoff Peterson) on the Drew Carey hosted Late Late Show; Danny DeVito, Zoe Kravitz, and Whitney Cummings on Fallon; Kenneth Branagh and Felicity Huffman on Meyers; and as I said before, Conan goes to Cuba.
