What’s On Tonight: Franklin And Bash Are Going To Subpoena A Parrot

NOTE: We’re off tomorrow for the holiday. Enjoy your cookouts and beers and fireworks and Twilight Zone marathons.

Franklin & Bash (TNT, 9 p.m.) – If this preview clip is to be believed, Franklin and Bash are going to subpoena a parrot on this week’s episode. A PARROT. They’re gonna try to put a dang bird on the witness stand. And if that’s not enough for you, there’s also this sentence from the TV Guide summary: “Elsewhere, Peter and Jared acquire a curbside sofa.” SOLD.

Big Brother (CBS, 8 p.m.) – “Tune in to see if anyone says anything racist!”

Futurama (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) – On tonight’s episode, Bender ends up in a maximum security prison and meets a famous folk singer. As someone who despises both small confined spaces and folk music, this sounds like a clear violation of the Eighth Amendment to me.

Read A Book (Your Couch Or Patio, At Some Point) – There’s not much else going on tonight, partially because of the holiday tomorrow and partially because summer television is always a wasteland. My advice: Read a book. I’m reading Inherent Vice right now. It’s good so far. Leave your recommendations in the comments.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Everyone is in repeats except Kimmel, who has Michael C. Hall and Miranda Cosgrove. Take us home, Ray.