The Game (BET) – Season premiere. After bombing out on The CW, “The Game” moved to BET in 2011 and became an instant hit; last year’s premiere was watched by 7.7 million viewers. According to TV by the Numbers, that made it the “#1 ad-supported sitcom telecast in cable TV history.” Brandy joins the cast for season five, so that number will likely increase to 98.5 million. Sadly, Monica’s still waiting for a phone call.
Work It (ABC) – Damn, it’s still on, with an episode titled “Shake Your Money Maker” at that. I do hope, however, that “Work It” will be on long enough to have an episode about the guys sexual harassing women, until they get catcalled by men when they’re dressed up, and they learn an important lesson about something.
Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC) – They’re no Ted Haggard and Gary Busey, but Flavor Flav and Dee Snider make for fine spouse swappers. I hope they sing a song together, called “We’re Not Gonna Take a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back.” Rolls right off the tongue.
America’s Choice 2012: New Hampshire Primary (CNN) – I honestly can’t think of anything more fun than watching five hours of primary coverage, on CNN, in New Hampshire. Throw in a hologram (please) and you’ve got the TV event of the season.
Shipping Wars (A&E) – Unfortunately not a series regarding fan-fiction shipping; it’s literally about people shipping things. You’ll have to keep writing those Britta-Annie sexxxy stories yourself.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kate Beckinsale, Marv Albert, and the Little Willies on Letterman; Queen Latifah, Pauly Del Vecchio, and Augustana on Leno; Randy Jackson, Dermot Mulroney, and Will Hoge on Kimmel; Isaac Mizrahi and Sophia Bush on Kimmel; Tina Fey, Jean Dujardin, Handsome Dick Manitoba (“Stay with Me” is a GREAT song), and the War on Drugs on Fallon; Chelsea Handler, Billy Eichner, and Doyle and Debbie on Conan; Andrew Napolitano on Stewart; and Bill Moyers on Colbert.
