Why You May Never See Another Episode Of ‘Don’t Trust The B—- In Apt. 23’ Again

This is just speculation, and it’s not even my own speculation, but the math makes sense, and it points to one thing: ABC is either about to pull the plug on Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23, or it’s going to burn off the remaining episodes this summer, and then pull the plug. That’s the bad news in the scenario; the good news? There may still be a glimmer of hope for Happy Endings. Follow me here through the math:

Apparently, ABC quietly revealed that on Tuesday, January 29th, Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23 will be pre-empted for a second all new episode of Happy Endings. OK, so no big deal, right? Well, because ABC is airing their new Anthony Bourdain cooking show, The Taste, tonight there won’t be any episodes of Happy Endings or Don’t Touch the B—-. Likewise, the two weeks following the January 29th double-pumping of Happy Endings, both shows will be preempted, first by the State of the Union address and then by a two-hour premiere of The Bachelor. So, the next possible Happy Endings will be February 19th. Got it? Well, on March 19th, Dancing with the Stars returns, which means that NEITHER show will air on Tuesdays again this year after March 19th.

So, between February 19th and March 19th, there are 5 weeks left. There are also 10 Happy Endings episodes remaining this season, after the January 29th double-pumping. Happy Endings gets slightly better ratings, it’s closer to a syndication deal, and it’s base audience is larger. What does that mean? According to Sitcoms Online, and anybody with a half a brain who sees the scenario (this does not necessarily include television executives), ABC will probably double pump Happy Endings those last five Tuesdays, casting Don’t Trust the B— aside for the remainder of the network television season, giving it virtually no hope of renewal. Meanwhile, if Happy Endings gets renewed, it’s one full season away from a potential syndication deal (and it would do gangbusters on a network like Comedy Central, or even TBS).

In sum: Happy Endings has a glimmer of hope of surviving through another season. Don’t Trust the B—-, meanwhile, may never air again. If, however, Happy Endings does get the sh*tcan, I’m guessing that it MIGHT be picked up by TBS and paired with Cougar Town next year.

I’m going to miss The Beek.