‘The Portman-Kunis Scissors’ are a delightful soccer team

By 05.23.11
The Portman-Kunis United Have Awesome Jerseys

At Bay to Breakers last weekend, I think I counted a good 30 variations on Black Swan costumes (including a black guy dressed as a regular swan, which I thought was nicely subtle), making it by far the most popular costume of the day.  That got old fast, but even that couldn’t make me jaded enough not to appreciate these Black-Swan-themed jerseys that an indoor soccer team in Dallas made for their league matches.  They call themselves the “Portman-Kunis United,” and yes, their logo is two crossed scissors.  Said team captain Mike Miller in an email to BeautifulGear:

“I’ve got an indoor soccer team in Division 11 (1 being best, 11 being worst… obviously) here in Dallas Texas and I would like to submit our team jerseys which I designed and made. The patches are embroidered and the lettering is authentic jersey vinyl on Adidas Predator blanks. While we only finished 3rd in our division, I like to think we looked good doing it. The team name is Portman Kunis United (aka The Scissors). It’s a tribute to Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in the movie Black Swan, for their….. amazing acting. Notice the handcrafted numbering, custom with a swan on each number.”

Ahh, nothing like subtle, classy vulgarity.  I wonder if the team handshake involves putting your palms together and interlocking fingers perpendicularly.  Now you’re turn to peek, hee hee!  And bonus points for not calling it a “kit.”  When spoken with an American accent, that word roughly translates to “I’m pretentious!.”

Ha, “Messy.”

Delicious, salty subtlety.

I’m now starting a softball team just so I can call it “The Walker-Diesels” with two crossed swords on the logo and “FURIOUS 69” on the back.

[more pictures over BeautifulGear, including their black away jerseys]

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