Oh thank God. Iron Man writers rebooting Tomb Raider as an origin story.

By: 05.05.11  •  19 Comments

Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, who have writing credits on Children of Men (along with three other dudes), and Iron Man (along with two other dudes) — which, as we’ve learned, barely even had a script — have signed on to write the reboot of Tomb Raider.  The Hollywood Reporter adds that the project is being planned as an origin story, which is good, as I’m excited to delve into this richly fascinating mythology.  No really, ignore my dismissive wanks and fart sounds.

The company is today issuing a statement setting bold aspirations for the franchise, with the writers saying they want to create an “origin story for Lara Croft that solidifies her place alongside Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor in the pantheon of great female action heroes.” [THR]

Ooh, but will this re-imagining be grittier?  Meanwhile, in something of a coup, FilmDrunk was able to obtain a copy of Lara Croft’s ACTUAL ORIGIN STORY!

INT. filthy apartment in Van Nuys.

What if… we created an adventure story… where Indiana Jones was a girl?

Can… she have huge tits?

“The Final Countdown” plays over coding montage.  Fin.

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