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A Lowbrow Tribute to Ryan Dunn

Comments of the Week: 20th anniversary American Psycho giveaway

By / 06.21.11


(art by Justin Reed — Source)

I normally like to get Comments of the Week posted Sunday night or Monday, but this week was Father’s Day and I was busy tracking down stepdads.  But to make up for my tardiness, I’ve brought a special gift.  In honor of the 20th anniversary of the release of Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho, Vintage has given me five copies to give away.  If you made this week’s list of Comments of the Week, email me your address and I’ll get you a copy.

Originally scheduled to be released by Simon & Schuster, the publisher cancelled publication after female employees began protesting the book and explicit material from the novel was leaked to the press. When Vintage ultimately swept up AMERICAN PSYCHO, The Los Angeles chapter of the Nation Organization for Women called or a nationwide boycott of the publisher.
Would the book cause as much controversy if it were released today? Here is an opportunity to view the changes of a city and American culture through the lens of this influential novel and its unforgettable character.

Would the book cause as much controversy if it were released today?  Maybe if it was written by Snooki, or one of Bristol Palin’s cats.  Oh, publishing.  In any case, I thought a seminal work about a charming sociopath made a perfect gift for the denizens of FilmDrunk comment land.  Here are the winners (first five to

First, Al Pacino’s awesome headband provided valuable joke fodder:

ChinoMoreno: Scarfface

La Schmoove: First you get the money, then you get the headbands, then you get the women.

Argentino: Is that Tony Bandana?

davidnowacki says: HATTICA!!! HATTICA!!!

"Great, Gary, you're doing perfect. Just keep pretending to be on the phone and slowly make your way towards the gate. No one suspects a thing."


Other things that always bring out the best in the Filmdrunkards: Gary Busey stories.

Jacktion!: He’s only freeing that goat so it can be a customer at his children petting zoo.

Burnsy: Gary Busey quits movies every week. He just happened to be in this one.

Michelle07 made fine parody of Sean Bean’s slutty airhead girlfriend:

Michelle 07: Men say my best physical feature is: My earlobes. They’re a handful!
Measurements: 169-14-4
Pet name for my boobs: Squeaky & Shineybear
What I love about my boobs: They speak Mandarin!
A superficial thing I am attracted to: Monkey
My favorite trait in a man: swing set

And I like Patty Boots’ idea for Tracy Morgan’s apology in Nia Vardalos takes a brave stand against Tracy Morgan’s homophobia:

Patty Boots: I’d like to imagine the apology as Tracy chewing a mouthful of jelly beans while Alec Baldwin provides a voice over.

And finally, as so often happens, a tragic death became a contentious subject around here.  In this case, Ryan Dunn.

NathanBedlam: This is the point in the day where a lesser commentator would decry this message board for its insensitivity and vow to never come back, or backtrace your connection and send the cops after you or whatever meme is hip to the biz these days.
That said, I love this blog and would hardly forsake it. While Vince managed to deal with the situation with a gravitas and a decorum belying the douchiness of his haircut, the hackeneyed commentary speaks volumes about, well, f*cking something.
The fact that some generally humorous regulars are just as home riffing (ineffectually) on the death of a fellow human as they would be on, say, the Khloe Kardashian nip-slip speaks volumes as to the inhumanity of man-against-something something dick joke.
But for real. Your Google-a-second puns aren’t funny, especially against the backdrop of someone ceasing to exist. More than likely it was the result of a bad decision or two on his part. Guilty, certainly. But that doesn’t mean this individual deserves to be reduced to fodder for ineffectual Mad-Libbery. It’s insulting, mostly because none of you are particularly funny to begin with.
That said, I hope your thirty-to-fifty entries in the “A Mildly Beloved Pseudo-Celebrity Died Wordplay Challenge” yields one of you useless f*cks a commemorative FilmDrunk t-shirt, so you can have a physical reminder of just how awesome you are.

Which quickly garnered a response…

Morton Salt says: F*ck you Bedlam. Guess what? Ryan Dunn died in a car wreck last night. Guess how many people died in a car wreck since he did? People die horrible deaths daily. People live horrible lives full of pain and suffering. The simple fact that you, or any of us, have internet access and the time to f*ck around on FilmDrunk means we show a lack of gravitas and decorum against the backdrop of someone ceasing to exist. Or while some child gets raped. Or while your mom chokes on a hobo’s slimy dick. It’s far more disrespectful to pretend that his death was unique or remarkable. People die horribly every single day. You are the douche-bag for trying to imply that his death somehow matters more because he was “A Mildly Beloved Pseudo-Celebrity”. What’s more, he was Ryan Dunn of Jackass. He wasn’t Jonathan Brandis. He wasn’t Heath Ledger. He wasn’t Edward Norton (trust me on that one). He was a guy who found fame by hurting himself and risking death for laughs. Get off your high horse, and by that, I mean ram it’s giant c*ck into your ass until it fills you with horse cum. Just like the horse cum Ryan Dunn put in Johnny Knoxville’s sunblock. Which Knoxville freely admits he used for weeks while wondering why it got so stringy. That’s the type of guy Dunn was; the type to appreciate a few good puns about his burning to death in a car wreck.
Or bad puns.
As for our not being funny, have you seen your screen name?

I’m not going to take sides here, because I think they both had a point.  But while we’re on the subject of insensitive jokes that the dead guy himself might’ve found funny if he was alive…

Pauly Dangerously: “Hi, I’m Ryan Dunn and this is ‘Porsche Hitting a Guard Rail, Then Hitting a Tree, Then Bursting Into Flames With Me Inside.’”

See, the mean spirited, “it should’ve been you, Bam” comments?  Not really creative or funny.  This, on the other hand, was well-structured.  It’s just the kind of comment that deserves to win a book about a gleeful serial killer.  It’s just a shame that Pauly can’t read.

 


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