A while back, I brought you the news that gay prostitute observer and dicknose enthusiast James Franco was looking to direct an adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, in between curating invisible art museums and working towards his Masters of Belles Letres in 16th century French pastry from the Sorbonne (probably). Professor Dicknose recently attended the Toronto Film Festival, where he was asked about Blood Meridian. He revealed that Scott Rudin was on to produce, and that they’d shot 20 minutes of test footage with Scott Glenn and Luke Perry (of course), but the project was “on hold” for “various reasons.” Then he added, “but we are going to make a movie based on [Cormac McCarthy]’s third novel, Child of God.”
What’s that about, you ask? Why, it’s a book about a man falsely accused of rape who moves to a cave and dabbles in necrophilia, of course. “James Franco Dicknoses Necrophilia.” Book it.
“Scuttling down the mountain with the thing on his back he looked like a man beset by some ghast succubus, the dead girl riding him with legs bowed akimbo like a monstrous frog.”
Child of God must be the most sympathetic portrayal of necrophilia in all of literature. The hero, Lester Ballard, is expelled from his human family and ends up living in underground caves, which he peoples with his trophies: giant stuffed animals won in carnival shooting galleries and the decomposing corpses of his victims. Cormac McCarthy’s much-admired prose is suspenseful, rich with detail, and yet restrained, even delicate, in its images of Lester’s activities.
“You could say that he’s sustained by his fellow men, like you…. A race that gives suck to the maimed and the crazed, that wants their wrong blood in its history and will have it.” [Amazon]
“Gives suck to the maimed,” you say? Why, that describes all my favorite porn. Anyway, I hope it still stars Luke Perry. “James Franco Dicknoses Necrophilia with Luke Perry: A Choreopoem,” they could call it.