It seems a little sketchy that this story was uncovered by the “Alien Disclosure Group,” but even if you don’t believe the alien angle, at the very least the kid is a real-life mutant. Nong Youhui here lives in a village in southern China, and was born with bright blue eyes. Aside from being lucky that they weren’t green (or else Lo Pan would be all over his ass right now), Nong can apparently see in the dark, which he demonstrated by completing a test underneath a stairwell while Chinese journalists “used blankets to block out most of the light.” While Chinese journalists aren’t exactly known for strict adherence to the scientific method, this is clear evidence that the alternate future predicted by the X-Men movies is almost upon us. If I were this kid, my X-Men name would be “Peeping Tom.”
I’m already writing Nong into my next X-Men script. I imagine Nong lurking in the darkness, just as the evil senator played by Robert Loggia prepares to sign the mutant-internment bill. He snuck in when Hazel Jones distracted the guards with her two vaginas. “Suck queefs, evildoer!”
That’s the catchphrase I’ve written for her, you see.
I want more like this!
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