Michael Fassbender famously unsheathed his monstrous uncut wang in Shame, one of the many films for which he earned rave reviews in 2011, including X-Men Girth Class, Haywang, A Dongerous Method, and the upcoming Promethenis. We’ve taken to referring to he and his wang as Michael and the Fasspenis, and it seems we’re not the only ones who can’t stop talking about it. Charlize Theron even expressed her desire to work with it at a Human Rights Campaign Gala recently. In other news, it’s good to be Michael Fassbender.
Referencing Fassbender’s full-frontal work in Shame, Theron quipped, “I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I’ve worked with them.”
The Oscar-winner didn’t stop there. “Your penis was a revelation,” she said to the howling audience. “I’m available to work with it any time.” [EW]
No one’s ever called my penis a revelation, and I’ve had sex with countless altar boys. Anyway, these jokes are all fun and games now, but just wait till he gets married someday and his poor wife has to endure all manner of people walking bowlegged around her, pantomiming hot dogs down hallways, echo jokes, etc. The only consolation is that she’ll probably torn in half before she can hear any of it.