Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Max Von Sea Doo Has Erectile Dysfunction

By: 03.27.12  •  13 Comments

Vince's vision for Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close Part II

This week there’s a Best Picture Oscar nominee, a film by David Cronenberg, Angelina Jolie’s directorial debut, and the latest in the Alvin And The Chipmunks saga.  On the other end of the spectrum, we’ve got some Franco, Christian farm animals, the latest from the Asylum, and as always, Danny Trejo.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
A Dangerous Method
Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
In The Land Of Blood And Honey
The Broken Tower
Corman’s World: Exploits Of A Hollywood Rebel
Camel Spiders
The Lion Of Judah
The Kate Logan Affair
The Heir Apparent: Largo Winch
Breaking Wind
Good For Nothing
Air Collision
The Gruesome Death Of Tommy Pistol

For some alternatives streaming from Netflix click Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Did you know that the wiener kid at the center of this scientifically engineered Oscar bait won on Jeopardy?  Did you know that he speaks fluent Croatian?  I don’t know what any of this has to do with his acting ability, but it explains the air of exquisite punchability he gives off in the trailer.  I couldn’t care less about the 9/11 exploitation, but I refuse to believe viewers are supposed to find that kid charming.

A Dangerous Method

David Cronenberg directs this drama about Freud, Jung, and the early days of psychoanalysis.  The trailer makes it look potentially bland until Keira Knightley reveals her character’s kinky side.  I thought A History Of Violence and Eastern Promises were fine films, and I expect to like this one as well, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I miss the old-school “body horror” films from Cronenberg.  Maybe Jung has an eyeball on the tip of his giant penis?  A boy can hope…

Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

I’m personally convinced that the people behind this movie used the age-old Hollywood trick of coming up with the title first, and basing everything else on that choice.  After all, director Mike Mitchell is also responsible for Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.  What will the title of the next one be?  Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chip Off The Old Block, in which Alvin discovers he has a son, or AatC: Chip Monks, where the gang travels to Tibet?  A golf movie perhaps, AatC: Chip Shot?  I could go on, but I’d hate to actually guess correctly.

In The Land Of Blood And Honey

Although critically underwhelming and largely ignored by audiences, I give Angelina Jolie credit for making this her writing and directing debut.  The movie looks boring and way too preachy, but at least it looks like Jolie took her work seriously.  She was born into Hollywood luxury and could’ve phoned it in and still had her ass kissed for her efforts, but she tried to actually make a film.  In contrast, Gwyneth Paltrow’s co-writing/co-directing debut, the 2005 short Dealbreaker, was about ‘the dating adventures of Fran, a 30-year-old New Yorker.’ You can get Blood And Honey in a DVD/Blu-ray combo pack. I don’t think you can get Dealbreaker at all.

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