When New York Times film critic AO Scott, the Old Grey Lady’s be-initial-named, monocle-polisher in chief, wrote an uncharacteristically Armond White-like review of The Avengers (here’s mine!) earlier today (sample: “For all their maverick swagger, the Avengers are dutiful corporate citizens, serving a conveniently vague set of principles. [...] The price of entertainment is obedience.”), he probably didn’t expect Samuel L. Jackson to call him out on it. But that was ignoring a central tenet of Samuel L. Jackson, which is that Samuel L. Jackson keeps it super real. Jackson seemed taken aback by Scott’s failure to toe the fanboy ass-kissing line:
#Avengers fans,NY Times critic AO Scott needs a new job! Let’s help him find one! One he can ACTUALLY do!
Now see, I would’ve put the emphasis on “DO” rather than “ACTUALLY,” which just proves Samuel L. Jackson needs a good director. Other than that, his comments didn’t seem particularly noteworthy, but of course, everyone from The Hollywood Reporter to USA Today picked up on it, because OMG, FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! For his part, AO Scott’s ascot didn’t seem particularly ruffled. He responded to a tweet of support from New Yorker Critic Alex Ross, which said:
@AOScott His call for you to lose your job only supports your point about “glowering authoritarianism” in pop culture. Well said!
Holy hell, that’s the most New Yorker shit I’ve ever read, excuse me while I wedgie myself. Anyway, so then AO Scott was like,
“I have to say I feel more flattered than threatened. which may prove the point a different way.”
And then Sam Jackson was all,
That is My Opinion! They aren’t going to fire his jaundiced ass & You & I Know It!
Jaundiced? How dare you, sir. Everyone knows the proper film critic insult is “albino hemophiliac.” I would’ve also accepted “asthmatic eunuch,” or perhaps “palsied impotent.” In any case, seeing Samuel L. Jackson get through an entire Twitter beef without ever once using the word “motherf*cker,” a piece of my innocence died.
CROSSWORD PUZZLES AT DAWN?? I SAID GOOD DAY!