TIL: Darren Aronofsky’s very first directorial work was the short film that he made for his senior thesis, Supermarket Sweep. And of course my first thought was this. Sadly, that’s not the case, so I don’t care what the real plot is. However, it was the catalyst to a remarkable career for the mustachioed director of The Wrestler and Black Swan, and now he is tackling what he calls his childhood dream project, before he allegedly takes a stab at the next Batman reboot.
Aronofsky’s Noah is the legendary biblical tale of Noah, the dude who built a giant boat and shoved a bunch of animals on it so they could all get freaky and repopulate the Earth once God’s flood was done punishing all the dipshits who screwed up the party for everyone else. Sorry, but I had to copy that verbatim from Genesis so I didn’t leave anything out.
Yesterday, Aronofsky Tweeted the above photo to tease us with the attached message…
Noah stars Russell Crowe as the titular man assigned by the Head Honcho Himself (or Herself, for the FymnDrunkards) to gather all the animals and blast some Luther Vandross. Crowe is joined by Jennifer Connelly and Emma Watson, and if Aronofsky needs someone to be stranded on a boat with Watson, let me just grab my board shorts and allergy medicine, and we’ll start airbrushing a steel scorpion on the side of that badass boat today.