The upside of being a pornographer is that you can pull any cheap publicity stunt without worrying that it’s going to ruin your brand. Actually, does anyone worry about that anymore? I digress, but so it is that YouPorn is publicly offering $150,000 for the photo purportedly depicting a vintage Schwarzenegger sex act that was discovered in an abandoned storage locker once owned by Bob Guccione this week. I absolutely love typing that sentence, by the way. “Abandoned storage locker once owned by Bob Guccione” is an eight-word Raymond Chandler novel.
Via, who else, TMZ:
A photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger caught stark naked in the throes of passion is worth roughly $150,000 — AT LEAST — so says a really popular porn site … and it wants to buy the pic RIGHT NOW sight unseen.
TMZ broke the story … a financial entrepreneur named Jeremy Frommer purchased storage lockers once owned by deceased Penthouse founder Bob Guccione — and found a treasure trove of historic erotica, including unpublished nude photos of Madonna, Lauren Hutton, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Now, YouPorn.com wants to acquire the pics — in order to publish them online — and has already sent Frommer a letter, offering $150,000 for the whole lot.
YouPorn is specifically interested in the Schwarzenegger pic, which reportedly shows the former Mr. Universe nude in the act. YouPorn writes, “Let’s face it. The real value here is in Schwarzenegger’s ‘Schwanz.'” And you don’t need a translation to know what that means.
If the real value is little Arnold Schwanzenegger, I have a Google Image search that may interest you. This picture (NSFW) is real, right? I can’t find anything to say whether it is or isn’t, but YouPorn should probably pay me $100 grand just in case. I’ll even throw in this vintage picture of Burnsy and me relaxing between posts at Uproxx headquarters:
YouPorn’s offer comes hot on the heels of PornHub’s “banned” Super Bowl ad. You know, because I’m sure they had a realistic expectation that they’d be allowed to advertise a product with “porn” in the title during a program that once got fined millions for accidentally showing a portion of Janet Jackson’s tit. Fine, guys, I’ll kick the football.
I think Michael Haneke directed that.
[Banner Image via]