Undeterred by Matthew McConaughey‘s biggest Oscar snub of all time (with the “Ladies of Tampa” snub being a close second), Magic Mike producers are still moving forward with plans for a Magic Mike Broadway musical. And if you always dreamed of having a flamboyantly gay man grind his crotch in your face while he does a Matthew McConaughey impression and sings a song about coffee tables, you’re in luck, because a producer has confirmed to Vulture that the play will indeed have lap dances. All the best plays do. Heck, my mom practically majored in “theater.”
We got the answer to that last question when we spoke to producer Gregory Jacobs (also the first assistant director on the Magic Mike movie) at the Cinema Society premiere for Side Effects last week. “Oh, you definitely might get a lap dance,” he said. “Absolutely. That’s happening for sure.” Jacobs also let slip that “there’s bound to be a great song about how to pick out a thong,” but couldn’t reveal much more. “It’s coming along, and there will be more about it soon,” he said.
Because Burnsy and I are close personal friends of C-Tates, and not the kind of friends he feels the need to ever mention or be photographed with because we’re that close, we were able to get our hands on an exclusive set list for the Magic Mike Broadway musical.
“Damn Boo, How U Werk My Shit Like Dat?”
“Hang My Banana Hammock (Between Yo Knees)”
“Penis Pump Pump Pump It Up”
“I Can’t Freak You Tonight Cuz I Rubbed My Dick Raw On Some Ho’s Jeans”
“I Make Ladies Cream and Coffee Tables Custom”
“Take These Crumpled Bills and Learn to Fly”
“Savin’ Up 4 College, Son”
“The Baggie Chonies Remix”
“Bros Don’t Let Bros Sell Ecstasy”
“Diamond Dallas the Wonder Phallus”
“Dis Ain’t Be Love, It B Bizznas”
“U Ain’t Wanna No What I Gots 2 Do 4 20s”
“Tarzan: King Of Yo Lady Jungle”
“Damn Yo Tittiez Fine”
Respec, C-Tates. Respec.