Weekend Movie Guide: Snitches Get Stitches And Millions Of Dollars

By: 02.22.13  •  15 Comments
Probably Milwaukee.

Opening Everywhere: Snitch, Dark Skies

Opening Nowhere: Stand Off

FilmDrunk Suggests: Organize a neighborhood game of Kick the Can and let me know where it is, because I’ll come play. Or you can go see what one critic called “Dwayne Johnson’s best role yet” in Snitch and then look at his IMDB page and just mumble, “Well yeah.”

Yo watch out Rocky, Omar comin’!


Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 51% critics, 82% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Despite its apparent compromises to noble finger-wagging (initially) and requisite fist-pumping (eventually), Waugh has fashioned a sturdy character-first entertainment out of Snitch.” – My good friend William Goss, Film.com

“Dwayne Johnson tries so hard to be taken seriously in the ponderous and preposterous drama Snitch that it hurts to watch him in much the same way it hurts to watch the weightlifting competition at the summer Olympics.” – Mary F. Pots, TIME

Armchair Analysis: I can joke for days about “Dwayne Johnson’s best role yet” but I have to admit this film doesn’t look terrible. I’m not going to rush out to the theater to see it, and I’d probably see A Good Day to Die Hard again, so I can freak out for a second time about why there was no fight scene between John McClain and that giant Russian bro. Seriously, what the f*ck was the point of showing that shirtless monster and his CCCP tattoo if HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING???

In conclusion, The Rundown is still Dwayne Johnson’s best movie. Doom is a close second because it has Rosamund Pike, who is a very special person.

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