When you’ve seen Tommy Boy in excess of 50 times like I have, you can remember and quote every scene. But even a casual viewer can probably remember the scene where they hit a deer and put it in the back seat, only to have it wake up and destroy the car. Ahh, the nineties, such a simpler time. Yeah, so, it turns out, almost that exact scene recently played out in Kalamazoo.
Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Officer David Miller was on routine patrol, around 2:20 a.m. Tuesday, and checking parking lots. He encountered a suspicious person sitting in a parked vehicle behind a hotel in the 3700 block of E. Cork Street.
Officer Miller contacted the male, a Kalamazoo area resident, and the two had a brief discussion.
Miller’s attention was drawn to the trunk area of the vehicle. The man hit the trunk release and said, “I hit a deer, I figured you would want to see it.”
That’s interesting, because “I hit a deer, I figured you would want to see it” is actually listed at number four on my list of “The 10 Best Pick-Up Lines to Use in Kalamazoo.” Also, why was Miller’s attention “drawn to the trunk area of the car?” Was it the thumping sounds and braying?
The vehicle owner claimed to have a dead whitetail deer in the trunk. He said he accidently hit the animal with his car on an outlying area roadway, according to a news release. The man told Miller he intended on utilizing the meat from the road kill to feed his family. “The officer merely wanted to check on the tagging of the deer to make sure it was appropriately tagged with a kill permit or accident permit,” explained KDPS Lt. Stacey Geik.
Because, yeah, I’m sure a dude sitting in a parking lot at 2 am with a deer in his trunk that he planned on eating made sure to file a full report and complete all the relevant paperwork. “Here you go, officer, my ‘Permit to Bag and Eat Roadkill,’ filled out in triplicate.”
Miller cautiously opened the trunk and the deer sprang from the trunk.
“Oh, he’s still alive,” Miller exclaimed as the deer emerged.
The deer jumped to the ground, fell down, got up and then ran to a nearby wooded area.
“He held his ground nicely,” Lt. Giek said of Officer Miller. “So I’m proud of him.”
Yes, there is video.
I don’t know if I would say “sprang” from the trunk. “Tumbled” might be more accurate. Either way, I’m just glad the deer was okay. When Burnsy sent me this story, I asked, “wait, wasn’t that scene in Tommy Boy actually based on something that happened in real life in the first place?” The answer, according to Snopes, is “kinda sorta.” There’s a famous 911 call that had been going around since the seventies (I believe I first heard it in the early nineties on the Bob and Tom Show) in which a man hits a deer, has it wake up in his car, then it bites him in the neck, wrecks his car, and, as he’s calling 911, he has dogs attacking him because he smells like deer. He says, famously, “I need a bambulance.”
Long story short, the call was a joke (and probably the basis for the Tommy Boy scene), but no one’s really sure if the joke call was actually based on something that happened. In any case, I’m very disappointed in the Kalamazoo Police for not calling for a bambulance. The opportunity for a reference that well timed comes along once in a lifetime.
Serious question: Is Kalamazoo a real place?