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Weekend Movie Guide: Why Isn’t This A Movie About The Band Rush?

By / 09.27.13
I, too, have Olivia Wilde in my wedding photos. Thanks to Photoshop.

I, too, have Olivia Wilde in my wedding photos. Thanks to Photoshop.


Opening Everywhere: Rush, Don Jon, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

Opening in IMAX: Metallica Through the Never

FilmDrunk Suggests: My man crush for Joseph Gordon-Levitt is at an all-time high, so I’m all for Don Jon this weekend, especially because Scarlett Johansson’s New Jersey accent makes me laugh so much.

You shouldn't suck on Sour Patch Kids before racing.

You shouldn’t suck on Sour Patch Kids before racing.


Rush

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 85% critics, 94% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

‘Rush’ ranks among the best movies about auto racing ever made, featuring two great performances from the leads. – Richard Roeper, RichardRoeper.com (I assume that, like me, he ranks Freejack No. 1.)

This is no mere thrill ride by two real-life rival speedsters, although it is certainly that. The film also provides a sobering look at what it takes to be a true champion. – Peter Howell, Toronto Star

Armchair Analysis: Just kidding, I wouldn’t watch a movie about the band Rush with Vince’s eyes. I’d rather watch a movie about Formula 1 drivers in the 70s. Probably on DVD though. Then again, Olivia Wilde. So maybe a rainy weeknight.

"Ehhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh I'm tank toppin here fuggedaboudit."

“Ehhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh I’m tank toppin here fuggedaboudit.”


Don Jon

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 83% critics, 78% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Gordon-Levitt keeps things riotous for the film’s first hour, and if he eases into an ending that’s a little Hollywood-standard, after having so much fun tweaking form and content, I’m guessing audiences will cut him some slack. – Bob Mondello, NPR

By the time Jon learns that “you have to lose yourself in another person” (a nice turn of phrase), it’s too late for us to lose ourselves in the movie. “Don Jon” is already gone. – Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times

Armchair Analysis: The main reason I’m excited for this movie is because Tony Danza is earning rave reviews and if he won an Oscar, I’d probably laugh myself to death thinking of him accepting his Oscar and shouting, “ANGELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAA!”

I'd weigh 600 pounds if it rained meatballs.

I’d weigh 600 pounds if it rained meatballs.


Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 63% critics, 83% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Honestly, anyone who can pull off a running joke about leeks that does not make you gag, and is in fact a silly delight, deserves props. – Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times

There’s not a surprise or moment of tension to be found here, but the film is all energy and color that makes the discomfort of 3-D glasses seem worth it. – Mike Clark, USA Today

Armchair Analysis: I laugh at the leek joke in the commercial every time. I don’t care what that says about me.

Ladies and gentlemen... Phil Collins!

Ladies and gentlemen… Phil Collins!


Metallica Through the Never

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 82% critics, 86% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

The problem is that Antal and Metallica took two different movies – a fine live-band document and a supernatural end-of-days romp – and smashed them together to make both of them more boring. – August Brown, Los Angeles Times

If half an hour of bizarro side-narrative fever dream is the price of admission for a gorgeously lensed, best-seat-in-the-house hour of chugging rock brutality, I’ll pay gladly. – Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune

Armchair Analysis: The most realistic part of the 3D adventure is when the old Metallica groupies in the front row throw their panties at the band and the movie audience gets hepatitis.


TAGSCLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2DON JONMETALLICA: THROUGH THE NEVERrushWEEKEND MOVIE GUIDE

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