Lars Von Trier recently appeared via video link at the Venice Film Festival to announce some new projects, and when Old Uncle F*ck Knuckles speaks, we’re all ears. Because hey, there’s a good chance he’ll be talking about dongs going in. Though in this case, “speaking” is a bit of a misnomer, because Lars is still in the midst of a “vow of silence” he took in the wake of his “I understand Hitler” controversy at Cannes (“Hallo, anyone? Eez zeess sing on? Kirsten, I don’t sink ziss mic ist vorking.”). Instead, he had others do the talking for him.
[Von Trier] appeared via video link at Venice over the weekend during the press conference for “Nymphomaniac Vol II — Director’s Cut” (check out three NSFW new clips below) and revealed his next project. Sort of. He didn’t say anything (though at one point Stellan Skarsgard held up a sign that said “lifeline” and called von Trier on his cellphone to help answer a question, relaying what the director said) but the filmmaker’s producer Louise Vesth did reveal what was next from the provocateur.
I love to imagine Lars Von Trier as this silent, Wile E. Coyote character wordlessly holding up signs that say “I understand Hitler!” while raising his eyebrows lasciviously.
Anyway, his next projects include plans for an English language TV series, supposedly set to begin in 2016.
“Now, when he’s not able to speak, so he cannot say that it’s not true, I’m happy to announce that the next Lars von Trier project will be a TV series in the English language,” she said. “He has a really really good idea which I cannot tell more about right now. He wants a huge cast and from what I heard, I’m sure that it will be something that you have never seen before and you will definitely never see again.”
The series will be called “The House That Jack Built,” and producer Peter Aalbæk Jensen adds that the show will be “without precedent” and warned that “you better hold your breath.” [ThePlaylist]
As a huge fan of Masters of Sex, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, The Leftovers etc. and an avid hate-watcher of Homeland, I love the idea of a Lars Von Trier series on premium TV. Adult drama with a generous sprinkling of nudity is my catnip. If it also involves period costumes I’m frankly powerless to resist. Hell, I even watched The Borgias, and that show is f*cking terrible. But Lars Von Trier is also the guy who told us about a dongs going in and then gave us four hours of Christian Slater talking about leaves and sh*tting himself on his death bed (with Lars probably pinching his nipples in demented pleasure the entire time). I can only imagine what he could do with a serialized drama. I picture the opening sequence of Masters of Sex followed by an hour of actual colon surgery set to Rammstein music.