Years ago, my local supermarket used to place cans of anti-freeze on top of the fresh produce. They told me it was “an accident,” but I have to believe there’s a unconscious part of all of us that wants to set kale aflame. So it comes that no surprise than Daniel Radcliffe “accidentally” drank a steaming cup of anti-freeze while on the set of Horns, 2014’s worst movie yet.
Radcliffe revealed his hilariously suicidal mishap on last night’s Conan O’Brien. According to the actor, Horns was filmed during a Canadian winter, so water on set had to be routinely laced with anti-freeze to prevent pipes from freezing. While in one of the trailers, Radcliffe accidentally drank of a “full cup of non-potable water, which I guess was half anti-freeze.” He was “horrendously ill” for three days but that didn’t stop him from replaying out the same trauma weeks later, when he tried to drink yet another cup of the deadly substance. “What are you doing?” his hair and make-up people told him. “Don’t do that! That’s crazy, you can’t drink that water!”
Well, duh. Potential side effects of drinking anti-freeze include, but are not limited to: blurred vision, blindness, dizziness, fatigue, death, blue lips, blue fingernails, “a headache.” I’m actually surprised Daniel Radcliffe survived at all, but I guess it must be related to *insert used-up Harry Potter Joke.*
Horns, which Vince described as a “hyperactive kid just making stuff up as he goes along” and “a waste of time on every level” opened just last week. Daniel Radcliffe plays a kind-hearted boy who acquires horns after his girlfriend is tragically murdered. That’s the one sentence summary, which I guarantee you is all you to know to stop watching that trailer/stop reading this paragraph. Did Radcliffe really drink the water by accident? Or was it his unconscious way of getting out of the 2014’s most flatulent plotline? Either way, he failed. But what a lovely newswire for us all.