Ben Affleck’s Batman to be ‘tired and weary’

If you still haven’t recovered from the news of Ben Affleck playing Batman, first of all, melvin yourself. This is not something grown ups should have strong opinions about. Secondly, take heart, man-child, because according to the CEO of Warner Bros, the Ben Affleck incarnation of the dark knight will be “tired and weary.” Casting make more sense now, smart guy?

Ben Affleck’s Batman will be “tired and weary and seasoned and been doing it for awhile,” according to Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara.

The exec offered the character description Thursday at an investor gathering, officially titled the Bank of America Merrill Lynch Media, Communications and Entertainment Conference.

Though the choice of Affleck has troubled some Batman fans, Tsujihara said he was “perfect” for the film that Zack Snyder is directing. “We think it’s going to be huge,” he added. [Variety]

Ah yes, as opposed to the “fresh-faced ingenue” Batman with whom we’ve become familiar. I’m pretty excited for this one. Why, I can see it now…

ALFRED

Master Wayne! Wake up! Two-Face’s goons are shooting up City Hall!

(*Bruce Wayne groans, rolling over slowly. An empty Jameson’s bottle clanks to the floor*)

BRUCE WAYNE

Ah fack, Alfred, what’s the point? The Jokah’s dead. Welkah’s gone. I caught my niece Mahgret doin’ lesbo stuff awn bahstool. Chahlene left me aftah she kept sayin ah name was Denise. Rawbin’s destrawyin me in fantasy. WHAT THE FACK, TAWM BRADY, ONE TOUCHDOWN PASS AGAINST THE NEW YAWK JETS, AH YOU FACKIN SERIOUS? …Good, evil, what’s the fackin’ diffrince? Sometime’s I think gawd’s dead, awr a Yankee’s fan.

GIRL LAYING NEXT TO BRUCE WAYNE

Oh gawd, I didn’t know I was bawlin’ fackin’ Nietzche. Why doncha get outta bed and do ya jawb like everyone else and stawp actin like such a hahd on?

WAYNE

Oh shut up, Tereser.

GIRL

My name’s Marie.

[See Also: Southie Batman, Episode 1]