Today’s Forgotten Classic is 1983’s DC Cab, a film starring a murderer’s row of randomness that included Gary Busey, Mr. T., and Bill Maher. It was a little before my time, but while I was writing, this, I noticed Drew had mentioned it in his latest Balls Deep column for Deadspin, so perhaps it’s not as forgotten as the title of this feature might indicate. In any case, it’s about a team of wacky cabbies who have to rescue one of their colleagues who’s been kidnapped. It’s basically the 1983 equivalent of Soul Plane, in both tacky badness and casual racism. Here’s the rundown of highlights from reader Matthew, who sent this in. Oh, also, he titled the banner image “Gary Busey Attempting to Faith Heal a Headache So He Can Copulate with the Afflicted,” so there’s that.
- Gary Busey saying “You know the only thing wrong with oral sex? The view!”
- Gary Busey saying “Did you know that DC is 75% nig?”
- Gary Busey saying “Nobody ever goes in the army anymore except blacks. Someday one n*gger’s going to wake up and say ‘we got the guns and the mustard gas and the tanks – we runnin’ the army!’ And they’re going to take over the whole country.”
- Gary Busey running into a gentleman’s club and stealing money from a stripper’s panties.
- Mr. T working his cab shifts wearing a weightlifting belt.
- Gary Busey saying “You know I can suck the white right off your teeth.”
- Bill Maher playing synthesizer while waxing philosophic.
- Gary Busey saying “If I’d wanted responsibility I’d have been a damn sex surrogate.”
- Mr. T pimping out his cab with various gold accoutrements.
- Mr. T making an impassioned speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in yellow sweatpants.
- Gary Busey saying “Why are women so uptight? They’ve got half the money and all the pussy.”
As you may have noticed, casual racism in 1983 was pretty intense by modern standards. I’m assuming this film was written and directed by a black man, or else they’d never have gotten away with being so free with the N-Bomb– (*checks IMDB*) JOEL SCHUMACHER!? That’s right, this film was co-written and directed by the man who would later go on to put nipples on the Batman suit. In retrospect, perhaps we should’ve seen it coming.
At 1:07 of this one, you can hear Charlie Barnett declare, “I don’t want to go to n*gger heaven!”