God I love Gary Busey. Old Butthorn filed for bankruptcy last week, citing $50,000 in assets against more than $500,ooo in outstanding debts. Well apparently TMZ has gotten hold of an even more detailed version of the filing, in which Busey lists ALL of his worldy possessions. And my God it is the most Gary Busey thing ever. “Well I got about three bucks in pennies and some highlighters in my briefcase, and then in the foyer, there’s my stuffed ostrich, Pepe. Pepe’s wearin’ a foam cowboy hat which I figure’s worth about ten bucks, but the real treat is the coupla starbursts I left under the hat. I was savin ’em for later.”
Problem is … Gary claims he only has $26,225 in personal assets … including $1,200 in various bank accounts and a $7,000 security deposit with his landlord. Gary then lists EVERYTHING he owns … including:
Entertainment — 2 tvs, DVD player, old large tape recorder, small tape recorder, boom box, bookends, 50 hardback books, 100 compact discs, 300 VHS tapes, 100 DVDs, 200 cassette tapes.
Art — painting of an Indian, old bull’s head, 5 pairs of old moccasins, 2 small decorative teepees, 4 clay vases, Indian style bowls, small figurine of bald eagle, old bows and arrows.
HEY! Them teepees ain’t decorative, Butthorn! Those are where I hunt tiny injuns with my pet silverfish, Enrique and Deborah.
More Native American Stuff — Fabric strap with an attached eagle talon, beaded necklace with an attached arrowhead, bolero necklace with black and white ying/yang pendant.
Random Crap — broken pellet gun, Rollerblades, 2 old surf boards, boogie board, old mountain bike, old Nikon film camera.
Instruments — electric guitar, Collings SJ acoustic guitar, 12 string Guild acoustic guitar, Fender Stratocaster electric guitar, amplifier, J200 acoustic Gibson guitar, 2 tambourines.
Oh God. I hope he has one tambourine to go with each Indian necklace. I… I… I can’t go on. This is just all so goddamned perfect that I’m starting to tear up.
Gary also says he rents a storage unit, in which he keeps old electronics, personal documents, Mother’s furniture/piano and old broken drum sets.
Old broken drum sets. Why WOULDN’T Gary Busey have old broken drum sets? Between that and all the Indian crap, I imagine a lot of failed raindances. Elsewhere, Buzzfeed has put together a helpful visual guide to all of Gary Busey’s stuff.
This is the best day of my life.
Poor guy, I guess he never did find that buck knife.