Holy Crap, This New ‘Interstellar’ Trailer

10.01.14 2 years ago • 61 Comments

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My body has been ready for Interstellar for months, perhaps since I first heard Matthew McConaughey was going to space. But for those of you despicable pukes who still need convincing, there’s this new trailer.

In case you hadn’t heard, Christopher Nolan shot this on new 1500 mm film stock that costs a million dollars a second and can only be projected onto the moon. The film will be 17 hours long, and its release timed to coincide with a pass by the Howell Comet which will give it a rare orange glow that cannot be reproduced by human hands. The following day will be declared a holiday in all the free countries of the world, to allow workers time to recover their blown minds and clean their soiled underpants. Matthew McConaughey will be declared Dictator for Life, and together, he and Oprah will produce a new line of biracial uberhumans who will make religion obsolete and usher in 1000 years of prosperity, personal understanding, and velour jumpsuits. I can scarcely believe the day is almost upon us. It’s like I’ve been waiting my entire life.

November 7th is the day. Make sure your affairs in order.

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