With all the talk of terrible remakes and sequels in the works, it’s always nice when one of them dies. How bad of an idea was this one? Platinum Dunes, the production company co-owned by Michael Bay, responsible for the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street that you probably didn’t see, was at one point planning to remake 1987’s Monster Squad, one of Shane Black’s first writing credits. That’s right, a super silly 80s movie written by Shane Black was about to be remade by Michael Bay and his gang of medallion-wearing music video bros.
Anyway, we don’t have that to look forward to anymore, according to Bay’s Platinum Dunes pals Andrew Form and Brad Fuller in this interview with Collider:
I was curious about the status of your remake of The Monster Squad, and where you were at with Friday the 13th?
FORM: The Monster Squad, we’re not developing anymore.
FULLER: That’s dead.
Look, I’m not saying Monster Squad is the Shroud of Turin or anything, but if someone’s going to remake it, it definitely shouldn’t be these guys.
*pours out Smirnoff Ice* *morosely nods head to Linkin Park song*