New NSFW Trailer For ‘As Above So Below’ Really Sells The Claustrophobia (NOPE)

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08.26.14 27 Comments

 

As Above, So Below is a new horror film opening this Friday about a group of handsome and hot youngins who go looking for The Sorcerer’s Stone in the catacombs below Paris. Because that sounded much better than drinking and screwing each other somehow. Not realizing The Sorcerer’s Stone was actually in Nic Cage’s pocket the whole time, they get attacked by demons or some sh*t. I mean, I’m assuming, it is a horror movie. Is there a creepy little kid laughing in the trailer? Of course there is.

“Everything that’s referenced in this movie is real. You can go home and Google everything that’s mentioned. It’s really, in a way, a brief, fun lesson in alchemy and history and science and archaeology,” actor Ben Feldman told Yahoo. “Yeah, it’s scary as sh*t, but at the same time it’s an adventure movie, and that’s what drew me to it.” [ThePlaylist]

Oh sweet, that’s what I look for in my claustrophobic catacomb demon movies, something to Google.

Anyway, this looks great if you like your butthole puckering from claustrophobia. I think I’ll save my cold sweats for hangovers, thank you very much. Though “As Above, So Below” is a great title to add “…in BED” to.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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