Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain has a red-band trailer

Michael Bay’s “Point Break with bodybuilders” movie, Pain and Gain, starring Mahky Mahk and The Rock, has a new red-band trailer out which you can watch below. It’s everything you’d expect from a Michael Bay movie: beautifully-shot, borderline pornographic scenery where everyone’s either a buff hero, a hot chick, or a shrill caricature. Guess which one Ken Jeong is! Ahh, the world of Michael Bay, where you can’t have so much as a bank teller or bus driver without him being an asinine attempt at comic relief. I fully believe Michael Bay moves through life instantly, silently categorizing everyone he meets. “Slut. Clown. Slut. Clown. Clown. Slut. Slut. Slut. Clown. Slut. Clown. Slut. Clown. Clown. Clown. Clown. Slut. Clown. Slut. Slut. Slut. Clown...”

“I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.” -Michael Bay, 2011

My only question is, where do you even buy a suit with arms this short?

Mark Wahlberg has to put his toilet paper on the end of a stick so he can reach his ass. True story.

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