People’s Republic of Morons Elects Adam Sandler Their Leader

01.12.12 6 years ago 21 Comments

You know when you hear about something being wildly popular that you’ve barely heard of, like Two and Half Men, or NCIS: 80s Rap Star, or Dancing with the Obscure Heiresses Who Made Sex Tapes, and you wonder, “Who the hell watches this stuff?” Because you’ve never actually met anyone who does? The People’s Choice Awards is an awards show created exclusively by and for those people, the people you forget even exist until you have to go to the christening for your second cousin, Jaxxyn with a y.

Basically, a terrifying look at how dumb most people actually are. Or at least, how dumb the self-selected group of people who would actually take the time to vote for The People’s Choice Awards actually are (I pray that it’s closer to the latter). Knowing that, this year’s list of award winners (which you can see below), actually isn’t so bad. I’m actually quite impressed that Emma Stone and Chloe Moretz are talented enough that even the Mountain Dew drinkers recognized it (though I suspect most voters just picked the person they thought was cutest for all of these). The only one that truly stands out as being atrocious is Adam Sandler as favorite comedic actor. Adam Sandler, who starred in three movies in 2011, Jack and Jill (RATED ARG FOR PIRATES F*CK YOU!), Zookeeper (in which he voiced a monkey), and Just Go with It, your basic, will-the-platonic-friends-get-together rom-com just with more farting (I assume). Having grown up with him, I’m not quite ready to assume everything Sandler does will be automatically horrible (I’m very, very, close), but those movies look insulting even to people who like being insulted. I don’t want to unfairly generalize, but if you honestly liked any of those, society would probably be better off burning you for fuel.

Favorite Movie
  • Bridesmaids
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
  • The Help
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Favorite Movie Actor
  • Daniel Radcliffe
  • Hugh Jackman
  • Johnny Depp
  • Robert Pattinson
  • Ryan Reynolds
Favorite Movie Actress
  • Anne Hathaway
  • Emma Stone
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Julia Roberts
  • Reese Witherspoon
Favorite Movie Icon
  • George Clooney
  • Harrison Ford
  • Morgan Freeman
  • Robert DeNiro
  • Tom Hanks
Favorite Action Movie
  • Fast Five
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
  • Thor
  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • X-Men: First Class
Favorite Action Movie Star
  • Hugh Jackman
  • Ryan Reynolds
  • Shia LaBeouf
  • Taylor Lautner
  • Vin Diesel
Favorite Drama Movie
  • The Adjustment Bureau
  • The Help
  • Limitless
  • Moneyball
  • Water for Elephants
Favorite Comedy Movie
  • Bad Teacher
  • Bridesmaids
  • Crazy Stupid Love
  • Friends With Benefits
  • The Hangover Part II
Favorite Comedic Movie Actor
  • Adam Sandler
  • Ashton Kutcher
  • Bradley Cooper
  • Ryan Reynolds
  • Steve Carell
Favorite Comedic Movie Actress
  • Cameron Diaz
  • Emma Stone
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Mila Kunis
  • Natalie Portman
Favorite Movie Star Under 25
  • Chloe Moretz
  • Daniel Radcliffe
  • Emma Watson
  • Rupert Grint
  • Tom Felton
Favorite Ensemble Movie Cast
  • Bridesmaids
  • The Hangover Part II
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
  • X-Men: First Class
Favorite Animated Movie Voice
  • Anne Hathaway as Jewel
  • Jack Black as Po
    Kung Fu Panda 2
  • Johnny Depp as Rango
  • Katy Perry as Smurfette
    The Smurfs
  • Owen Wilson as Lightning McQueen
    Cars 2
Favorite Movie Superhero
  • Chris Evans as
    Captain America
  • Chris Hemsworth as Thor
  • James McAvoy as Professor X
  • Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique
  • Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern
Favorite Book Adaptation
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
  • The Help
  • I Am Number Four
  • Soul Surfer
  • Water For Elephants


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