Release All The Photos You Want, ‘Last Vegas’ Still Looks Ridiculous

Author Profile Picture
Senior Writer
11.05.12 30 Comments

Fun “Cool Story, Bro” anecdote: I finally went to Las Vegas for the first time in my life, just a few months ago. It was horrible. I will probably never go back. If I want to get hammered and piss away my money at a casino, I’ll do it in New Orleans. But I say this not to poop on the city. No, I bring this up because Hollywood is full of lies, and every TV show and movie that is based around the idea that Vegas is a fun place is just wrong. It’s full of nasty, miserable people, who would shoot their own parents for one more chip. But at least my toilet at the Aria had a heated seat. Silver linings and whatnot.

So that brings us to the new promo still above, for the film Last Vegas, or as IMDB describes it:

Four best friends in their late-60’s decide to escape retirement and throw a Las Vegas bachelor party for the only one of them who has remained single.

First thing’s first: Nobody retires anymore. And if someone does retire, he probably did something that deserves our scorn. Sorry for being a pessimist, but it’s true. If I ever retire, it’s going to be because I sold organs on the black market. Actually, my dad is retired, but I’m convinced he’s CIA, so that’s a completely different story.

Now on to my main point: Do you know what would happen to four 60-something dudes who try to have a good time in Vegas? They’d probably be robbed and killed by a hooker and her pimp. But seriously, have you ever actually looked at a 60-something dude who is in Vegas? Anyone north of 50 in Vegas that is hanging out in a casino is trying desperately to escape a terrible life.

All that said, if you’re looking for a film about Viagra jokes that completely lies to you about Las Vegas and will probably have a tagline like “What happens in Vegas, greys in Vegas” then Last Vegas is the film for you.

Author Profile Picture
Ashley Burns has written about movies, TV, and sports for UPROXX since the site's first day.

Around The Web