The Comment of the Week: Kevin Smith Smells Edition.

03.24.13 5 years ago 26 Comments

Kevin Smith fans came out in numbers to poopoo Chareth’s attack on that “dirigible” of a filmmaker’s arrogance. This week in hate mail:

ChewlysGum: Wow, you come across as a bitter c*nt. If this was in print, Smith wouldn’t find this worthy of wiping his fat ass with it. You fester in your small area of Internet while Smith does whatever the f*ck he wants to. I’m sure he appreciates the money you paid to watch his films.

If Vince’s corner of the internet is small, Smith’s is still a tighter squeeze. FATTY FATTY FAT FAT FAT!

And then came Arrested Development Alias‘s rebuke. ALL AD HOMINEM ON YO ASS!

Arrested Development Alias:

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read. How is this in any way journalism. The man is in social media he tweets what comes to mind. Oh, how dare he get high and talk through Twitter. How dare you have a giant stick up your ass and TRY to belittle a guy for being creative. Taking us on the journey of making something happen. Scripts, films, ideas and intellectual properties can go through many iterations it just that most aren’t brodcasting it through social media. The man has over 2 million twitter followers and a legion of podcast fans. He tours with his films now doing it independently without a production company dictating his creative vision. You can say “Oh, those ticket prices are ridiculous, who in they’re right mind would pay that.” IT’S NOT FOR YOU YOU F*CK. Bottom line you are a vindictive little sh*t because you never had the balls to do any of this yourself. Now you blog post on a half assed website that is just drenched in pointless vitriol at those who try and do something. How dare he? How dare you promoting such needless asinine rants on a person who is in social media deep for tweeting his thoughts. “Oh, he’s hiiiigh man hey whoa 420, bro.” You are a sad person because you are literally the gutter press if you are so upset at a man who is simply being asked questions and responds. The most ludicrous thing about this is how your facts are wrong. He has never once said that it will be a stand alone book or whatever. It was always meant to be a film, he simply thought that a fan sourced book would be something fun and another way to make money to fund the film, THATS IT.

“Oh, how dare he charge for his film, these prices are retarded.” Do you like making money? Would you like to manke money? Do you have anything at all in all your years that would actually facilitate anyone paying you for something creative you’ve done? Do you simply sh*t on the creative under the guise that you know better because you are a student of media blah, blah, blah and you gain fans because they think they know what they are talking about blah, blah, blah?

“It looks like the Bat Signal, except in place of the bat is the bulbous silhouette of a derivative sh*t head.”

So this is what passes for pseudo-journalism these days.

Bottom line if you are so angry and so full of rage at Kevin Smith news then let me ask you this. Why report it? Why give in to him and promote him and what he’s doing. I just looked at his twitter. He quite literally took a screenshot of his mac, of the first page of Clerks 3 and posted to instagram because in my mind the dude probably thought, “Hey, my fans will probably like this.”

And so you take that small nugget of Kevin Smith news and run with it and post an article about how upset you are. You just promoted him, you just helped him gain a little more awareness. The internet has (sadly) given all of us a voice, you use it to bitch and moan and try to take the wind out of the sails of anyone doing anything creative because you don’t like it. Kevin Smith uses it as a way to talk to fans to make a living, outside the normal sign onto movie, make movie, distribute movie, and ultimately to just promote awareness of his upcoming projects for anyone who would like to know.

You apparently love to know because any piece of Kevin Smith news you are all over it.

You might be the biggest Kevin Smith fan of them all.

Woah. Talk about a twist! “You might be the biggest Kevin Smith fan of them all,” he says. Get this guy an indie movie to tour with, and make it extra meta. STAT!

Thatsamare asked if Rosario Dawson would be in it. JTRO replied:

JTRO: No she’s out of movies and is now partners in Shannyn Sossamon’s multiracial homeopathic remedies warehouse now.

I don’t know what that means, but I’m told it’s pretty clever.

But I think that the comment of the week comes from Erswi in response to Allison Stevenson’s steamy fan fiction, “Matthew McConaughey & Keanu Reeves Have An Encounter in the Park

Erswi: My wanking motion just upgraded from dismissive to furious.

Make sure to use lotion. Splitting your dick skin is the worst.

As always, use the comments section below to nominate for next week.

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