The full Ender’s Game trailer is a feast of lens flares

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08.06.13 26 Comments

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I never read Ender’s Game, so I don’t really have a dog in this fight, but now the full trailer for Gavin Hood’s movie adaptation is here. It stars Asa Butterfield, and as if having a name with both “ass” and “butt” in it wasn’t bad enough, now he’s playing a guy named “Ender.” His full name, incidentally is “Asa Maxwell Thornton Farr Butterfield.” He has three middle names and they’re all last names! That name is so poncey it sounds like he wipes his doodoo with a monogrammed pocket square. I’m pretty sure “Asa Butterfield” is British for “Booboo Stewart.”

Okay, let’s break out the sci-fi action trailer checklist:

It still manages to look not terrible, but I think they pretty well covered everything. Also, why do people always talk without contractions in the space future? “We will all be lost!” “They will be back!” “You are bred for this!” “You will be the one!”

Are people just not into the whole brevity thing in the future? I always assumed language evolved towards fewer syllables.

Opens in November.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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