Wesley Snipes joins Expendables 3, Sly wants Mel Gibson to direct

Every Expendables movie has that sweet spot where it’s awesome and not sad and lame, which usually happens a few weeks or months before the cameras roll. If they could just take the movie out of these movies, they’d be set. An idea this fun could only be ruined when you try to execute it. We’ve just entered that stage with Expendables 3, as word has it that Wesley Snipes has joined the cast. Fresh out of prison for tax evasion, Snipes is exactly the kind of person the Expendables would recruit in real life, if only he had a knack for wisecracks and his conviction was a government frame job as retribution for knowing too much.

TwitchFilm and Moviehole both reported the Snipes story, which was apparently based on a Tweet from Sly himself. He’s since deleted the tweet, and no one knows yet what to conclude from that. You never know with Sly, the mix of HGH and those tiny iPhone buttons is a recipe for disaster. One tweet he did leave up, meanwhile, was the one about getting Mel Gibson to direct. …Oh please oh please oh please…

 

No one uses caps lock to punctuate his revelations like Sly Stallone. In any case, at this point, I’m not too interested in Sly’s fantasy camp for aging action stars, but if he gets Mel Gibson to direct Wesley Snipes in it and we get a Some Kind of Monster-style documentary about the making of, I’d pay $100 for a ticket. The combination of The Expendables’ silly name conventions and Wesley Snipes’ penchant for staying in character alone would priceless. I imagine Mel Gibson screaming racial slurs at everyone on set while Snipes refuses to come out of his trailer and communicates only by post-it notes signed “Felt Penn.”

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