The New Batmobile Has Wings! And Batman Is On TRT.

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05.13.14 103 Comments

As promised when he lifted the skirt on it yesterday, Zack Snyder has a revealed the new Batmobile (sort of). If Tim Burton’s batmobile was more of a muscle car, and the Bale-mobile was sort of a tank, this looks like kind of a cross between the two (but with wings!). The only trouble I can envision with this batmobile is that Batman doesn’t have much in the way of peripheral or rear vision – he’s going to have a hell of a blind spot.

HEY FACK YOU, I KNOW YOU SAWR MY BLINKAH, CAWKSUCKAH. SUCK MY SPOILAH, QUEAHS. I’M LEAVIN AWL A GAWTHAM IN MY REAHVIEW. (*batman speeds off, middle finger out the window*)

Here’s a larger detail of Mr. Batman himself:

He’s all texturey! And he’s got those seams that look like veins. Whereas Christian Bale was the wirey-ish, younger Batman, Affleck seems to be playing that aging, massive from TRT and HGH Batman. Anyone remember Ben Affleck’s steroid meltdown on HBO’s Lifestories: Families In Crisis?

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I really hope there’s a little of that in there. STAY OUTTA MY STASH, YOU DUMB BRAWD!

Snyder’s film stars Henry Cavill, reprising his role as Superman/Clark Kent, Ben Affleck as Batman/Bruce Wayne, and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman/Diana Prince. The film also reunites “Man of Steel” stars Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne and Diane Lane.

The new film is currently being written by Chris Terrio, from a screenplay by David S. Goyer.

The film is set to open worldwide on May 6, 2016. [official press release]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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