Let’s face it, when we’re alone most of us play video games like complete tools. Why not? Nobody’s watching, you don’t have to impress anybody. Well, all that’s about to change — Sony’s upcoming Playstation 4 has a “share” button, which lets you broadcast you gaming session to the world with one quick push.
It may sound like a cool feature, but you may want to think twice about using it. There are things about the way most of us play games when we’re by ourselves that really ought to be kept private. Such as…
Your Crippling OCD
Gaming has a way of bringing out the obsessive compulsive in all of us (assuming, of course, that your OCD isn’t right out there to begin with). Grass cutting, room scanning, body looting — we’ve all got our things we just HAVE TO DO EVERY TIME. But hey, if you want to look crazy and bore people to death at the same time, feel free to hit that share button.
The Ol’ “FAQ Pause”
So, people are watching you play a game. You’re having quite a bit of trouble — dying over and over, not sure where to go. Suddenly you pause the game. The game stays paused for around 20 minutes, and when you finally unpause it, you suddenly know exactly where to go and what to do! It’s a miracle! Must have just needed to give your thumbs and eyes a 20-minute gaming rest.
What? The bikinis allow them greater range of movement! Obviously you know nothing about fighting.
The Fact That You’re A Big Pervert
Come on, we’ve all spent a few minutes here and there repositioning the camera to give us the best view of our female character’s ass. Or just jumping her up and down to check out her breast physics. The hardworking developers of the game slaved over those breast physics and butt textures! Personally I just like to see good, honest butt texturing work properly appreciated. That’s all. Really.
Outta the way jerks, I’ve got a cutscene to trigger!
Your Horribly Cheesy Tactics
Okay, so, sometimes we want to challenge ourselves — we want to play by the rules and beat the game on it’s own terms. On the other hand, sometimes we just want to get through an annoying section any damn way possible.
You encounter a pack of enemies and instead of wading into battle, so you pick a couple off, then run away until their AI stops chasing you, then you sneak back and pick off another couple. Or you just run through enemies blindly hoping to trigger a cutscene that will let you skip the battle altogether. Or you find a way to sneak past that the developers didn’t intend to leave in the game. Whatever it takes to half-ass your way through. You may actually be kind of proud of your shortcuts, but they’re probably not going to impress anyone watching.
“A tutorial? Screw that! I know what I’m doing! Oh wait, actually I don’t and am now being slaughtered repeatedly.”
“To hell with this dialogue! I’ll find the next mission on my own! Onward to adventure! Hmm, wait, where am I?”
Admit it, a good quarter of your gaming time is wasted to situations like this.
How about you folks? Got any bad gaming habits you probably shouldn’t share with the world?